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This blog exists to highlight the potentials and the pitfalls of doing Church.
It will not always please those who pass by but it will always be honest!

Tuesday 6 October 2015

Obstacles to Growth: That's my seat

Recently I was privileged to take a service at a church, a lovely church, full of kind and caring individuals. The people were (and remain) lovely and the welcome was ...

Well actually the welcome was a bit pants if I'm going to be honest! They thought a warm welcome was a 'hello' a handshake and the proffering of the hymn book and service sheet. 

But this was nirvana when compared to another church I  visited when staying with family. This church never even managed to hand out the service sheet or hymn book - I helped myself to both and sat in a seat and then replaced it at the end of the service without anyone engaging me in any way at all - leaving, as I had come, as an unknown person! 

The 'welcomer' was too engaged in conversation with a regular when I entered and vanished immediately after the service had finished: I later learned there was tea and coffee in the hall - no one told me and there was nothing on the sheet and no announcement! But I would hazard a bet that they thought they were a welcoming church!

But back to the church in question. Getting near to the start time I took a look out of the vestry and see a visitor arrive - I knew they were a visitor because I knew everyone else there - and receive their book, sheet and handshake (what I regard as the 'prize day' model of welcoming). They then went down the aisle and sat in a pew.

The welcomer followed them and said something to them which resulted in the visitor moving to the other side of the church. Others entered the building (I knew them as regulars) and took their place in front of the visitor. One of them turned to talk to the visitor and a minute or so later the visitor got up and moved to a seat nearer the rear of the church and were engaged in conversation by a churchwarden (I had now left the vestry and was walking towards the 'Vicar's stall'). As I announced the first hymn I noticed the visitor making for the door. And I never saw them again that day (or since)!

It transpired that the visitor had first sat in the place where one of the dear old ladies (if you don't cross her!) sat and so the welcomer, pointing it out to the visitor, had encouraged them to move. The visitor moved, the dear old lady never made an appearance!

Then, having moved, the people who engaged them pointed out that the  nnnn family usually sat where they were sitting. Taking the hint, the visitor moved into a different seat only to be told they were the seats reserved for the welcomers. Apparently the visitor asked if there was a toilet, and being told where it was, left to visit it, and was never seen again!

The sadness is that I have encountered this sort of thing on more than one occasion in a number of church buildings and sometimes the visitor stays (but do they return I wonder) and other times they don't even make it through the service.

I am often appalled at the way some church members greet visitors, there's little welcome and the empty seats are all reserved  for people who used to come; the result is an empty church full of possessive people.

Seats and welcomes: how do you do yours?