Well actually the welcome was a bit pants if I'm going to be honest! They thought a warm welcome was a 'hello' a handshake and the proffering of the hymn book and service sheet.
But this was nirvana when compared to another church I visited when staying with family. This church never even managed to hand out the service sheet or hymn book - I helped myself to both and sat in a seat and then replaced it at the end of the service without anyone engaging me in any way at all - leaving, as I had come, as an unknown person!
The 'welcomer' was too engaged in conversation with a regular when I entered and vanished immediately after the service had finished: I later learned there was tea and coffee in the hall - no one told me and there was nothing on the sheet and no announcement! But I would hazard a bet that they thought they were a welcoming church!
But back to the church in question. Getting near to the start time I took a look out of the vestry and see a visitor arrive - I knew they were a visitor because I knew everyone else there - and receive their book, sheet and handshake (what I regard as the 'prize day' model of welcoming). They then went down the aisle and sat in a pew.
The welcomer followed them and said something to them which resulted in the visitor moving to the other side of the church. Others entered the building (I knew them as regulars) and took their place in front of the visitor. One of them turned to talk to the visitor and a minute or so later the visitor got up and moved to a seat nearer the rear of the church and were engaged in conversation by a churchwarden (I had now left the vestry and was walking towards the 'Vicar's stall'). As I announced the first hymn I noticed the visitor making for the door. And I never saw them again that day (or since)!
It transpired that the visitor had first sat in the place where one of the dear old ladies (if you don't cross her!) sat and so the welcomer, pointing it out to the visitor, had encouraged them to move. The visitor moved, the dear old lady never made an appearance!
Then, having moved, the people who engaged them pointed out that the nnnn family usually sat where they were sitting. Taking the hint, the visitor moved into a different seat only to be told they were the seats reserved for the welcomers. Apparently the visitor asked if there was a toilet, and being told where it was, left to visit it, and was never seen again!
The sadness is that I have encountered this sort of thing on more than one occasion in a number of church buildings and sometimes the visitor stays (but do they return I wonder) and other times they don't even make it through the service.
I am often appalled at the way some church members greet visitors, there's little welcome and the empty seats are all reserved for people who used to come; the result is an empty church full of possessive people.
Seats and welcomes: how do you do yours?
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ReplyDeleteYour experience rings true with my observations when visiting churches. I think the automatic expressions of 'Welcome to St.*? show a lack of concern and good communication. I've even been 'welcomed' when re-entering to lead a service! I'm often disappointed at the welcome when attending a church whilst on holiday too. Some training and good practice thinking is required for our congregations. Like safeguarding welcoming is an all member activity and requires action! Don't get me started on the 'If you're new after the service make yourself known to one of us at the front'. My answer 'I'm visiting you, so make the effort!' Thanks for 'Church in phone box' Vic. Blessings Kev
ReplyDelete'The welcome' certainly varies a lot - what should be instinctive/sensitive obviously isn't! We really need to address the issue - various courses & training days run by the diocese are good but many people don't actually go to them and they tend to deal with so many topics. Perhaps better to have someone visit individual churches dealing with this single issue. Just to 'trump' the experience in this blog - with time to spare in Brooklyn New York I decided to go into a huge old cinema that was being used as a Gospel Church. There must have been 600+ plush cinema seats still there & perhaps 50 people all near the front- I sat (naturally!) on the back row right at the end so that I could slip away if necessary. I was quickly approached & told that I'd taken the Deacons seat! I didn't stay long!
ReplyDeleteIt is totally bizarre isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI recently watched some young boys refused entry because they had skate boards and baseball caps. Better to have engaged and explained - but no, they just barred their way!
Welcome has a long way to go.
Thanks for the comments,
V