Obstacles to Growth: That's my seat

Recently I was privileged to take a service at a church, a lovely church, full of kind and caring individuals. The people were (and remain) lovely and the welcome was ...

Well actually the welcome was a bit pants if I'm going to be honest! They thought a warm welcome was a 'hello' a handshake and the proffering of the hymn book and service sheet. 

But this was nirvana when compared to another church I  visited when staying with family. This church never even managed to hand out the service sheet or hymn book - I helped myself to both and sat in a seat and then replaced it at the end of the service without anyone engaging me in any way at all - leaving, as I had come, as an unknown person! 

The 'welcomer' was too engaged in conversation with a regular when I entered and vanished immediately after the service had finished: I later learned there was tea and coffee in the hall - no one told me and there was nothing on the sheet and no announcement! But I would hazard a bet that they thought they were a welcoming church!

But back to the church in question. Getting near to the start time I took a look out of the vestry and see a visitor arrive - I knew they were a visitor because I knew everyone else there - and receive their book, sheet and handshake (what I regard as the 'prize day' model of welcoming). They then went down the aisle and sat in a pew.

The welcomer followed them and said something to them which resulted in the visitor moving to the other side of the church. Others entered the building (I knew them as regulars) and took their place in front of the visitor. One of them turned to talk to the visitor and a minute or so later the visitor got up and moved to a seat nearer the rear of the church and were engaged in conversation by a churchwarden (I had now left the vestry and was walking towards the 'Vicar's stall'). As I announced the first hymn I noticed the visitor making for the door. And I never saw them again that day (or since)!

It transpired that the visitor had first sat in the place where one of the dear old ladies (if you don't cross her!) sat and so the welcomer, pointing it out to the visitor, had encouraged them to move. The visitor moved, the dear old lady never made an appearance!

Then, having moved, the people who engaged them pointed out that the  nnnn family usually sat where they were sitting. Taking the hint, the visitor moved into a different seat only to be told they were the seats reserved for the welcomers. Apparently the visitor asked if there was a toilet, and being told where it was, left to visit it, and was never seen again!

The sadness is that I have encountered this sort of thing on more than one occasion in a number of church buildings and sometimes the visitor stays (but do they return I wonder) and other times they don't even make it through the service.

I am often appalled at the way some church members greet visitors, there's little welcome and the empty seats are all reserved  for people who used to come; the result is an empty church full of possessive people.

Seats and welcomes: how do you do yours?

Obstacles to growth - singing a different tune (1)

Upon visiting a strange church recently, I found myself feeling quite isolated and out of step; a feeling which it transpired I shared with others.

I visit different churches whenever the opportunity presents because I get to hear others preach and, finding myself on the receiving end of communion, also get the chance to observe good practice (hopefully).

So there I was sitting in the pew when the hymn is announced and we stand to sing. The choir processes in and we're off! Opening prayer, confession and absolution and onto the collect - no dramas, everything looks like home so far.

We move onto the readings and the sermon - a good exposition of the main point of the Gospel - and onto the creed which the choir sing to us as the majority of those present, having struggled to join in, have given up! Moving on to the Eucharist we find ourselves challenged with a series of sung responses which were reminiscent of a sight reading exercise I once did as an audition piece!

Following the service, during a post-service brew, I got into conversation with a couple of regulars who told me how they were experiencing lean times and that some of the regulars had  falling away. As the conversation continued we were joined by a chap who rattled on about how great the settings were and what a great service it had been and so, leaving him to witter on, I finished my tea and (smiling) left.

What a nightmare when someone like me, who is fairly familiar with most forms of church service, are left feeling totally out of it all because of the setting used for the service. I'm especially used to services where sung responses are employed but most places I visit limit themselves to good old Rutter! But even then the use of them is still a means of alienating people who are new or unfamiliar to such things (which is the reason our organist suggests we forego responses for services of an evangelistic nature are concerned - Thank you Ken).

What is certain is that we do need to make sure that our services are 'seeker friendly' and accessible - even if that means someone coming out five minutes before the start and running the congregation through what they will be faced with.

Just a thought